I am going to lie about my age.

I was talking to a woman at the play park of the mall the other day. As we watched our children scramble around the equipment we struck up a conversation about parenting. After a while the conversation turned more personal and she admitted to me that she lies about her age. I know that a lot of women do this, but her story goes a step further. She told me that not even her husband knows her own age.

That baffled me and I thought a lot about our conversation for the rest of the day. I know that the society we live in places a premium on youth and isn’t always kind to the women who are becoming “seasoned”. Turn on the TV and it is easy to see that those who aren’t young do everything they can to appear as young as possible. Botox, face lifts, and tummy tucks are becoming as commonplace as trips to the dentist. Striving to create the allusion of youth has become a huge industry, because there is a market for it. Now I am not against helping Mother Nature per say. If a woman wants to look younger or prettier there is nothing wrong with that. I just hate the idea of living in a world that makes a woman think she has to.

I am only 36. Gosh, ten years ago I couldn’t have imagined using the words only and thirty-six together in the same sentence. I remember when 30 sounded ancient and 40 sounded like a person had one foot in the grave. I don’t know why I felt 40 was so old. My mother gave birth to me when she was 40. Of course kids were always asking me if she was my grandma.

Age really is a state of mind. There are 30 year olds who behave like old women and 80 years olds who act like children. With the advances in medicine, middle age is coming later and later in life. I heard recently that 50 is the new middle age and I read that children born ten years from now could reasonably be expected to live to be 130 years old.

So I refuse to be hampered by my age. If I want to wear my hair long when I am 70, I will. I gave birth to my first child when I was 32, my second when I was 36 and I really don't think that I am finished having children. Who knows, maybe I will challenge my mother for the title of the family’s oldest pregnant woman. I will not worry that people think I am not acting my age and I will not lie and say I am younger than I am so they think my behavior is acceptable.

On second thought, I think that I will lie about my age, just not in the way that the woman in the mall does. I am going to tell people I am older than I am. I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but think about it for a second. Most women that lie about their age don’t do it in a smart way. They try to fool people into thinking that they are younger, but if I told you I was 26, you would look me up and down and if you actually believed me, you would think, “WOW! She looks terrible for her age.” But if I tell you I look 46, you would look me up and down and think, “Man, she looks great. I wonder what her secret is.”

Who knows, maybe more women will start lying about their age in this way. Maybe attaining the wisdom and grace that only comes with age will seem more desirable than the fresh beauty of youth. OK, I know I am a fantasist. I know that it is true that with age comes wisdom, but I also know that some days I would trade every deep thought in my head to get the old rear end back.I guess I should hope to attain a balance in my thinking and pass that balance onto my daughter. I want to be a woman (and raise her to be a woman) that doesn’t care about the date on her driver’s license as much as she cares about what she is doing with the years she has been given.